O Shakespeare! Thou whom'st all the world dost think
Hast written some good things, I, too, wouldst pay
My best respects to thee; yet, wouldst I say
That whilst I like thee yet I dost not shrink
From tellin’ thee that thou art on the “blink”
And very sadly out of date to-day.
Still, if thou'lt follow my advice thou may
Still count as one of us, and get more “chink.”
Your plays ai n't any good the way they stand:
Thou ought'st to tone them up with something nice:
Some coon-songs, fire-engines, blood-hounds and
A swingin’ bridge and chunks of floatin’ ice
Wouldst make your old plays draw to beat the band,
And folks wouldst crowd your show at any price!