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1849–1916

THE WAY IT WUZ

James Whitcomb Riley

Las’ July — and, I persume, ‘ Bout as hot As the old Gran’ - Jury room Whare they sot!—

Fight‘ twixt Mike and Dock McGreff.... ‘ Pears to me jest like as ef I'd a-dremp’ the whole blame thing — Allus ha'nts me roun’ the gizzard

When they's nightmares on the wing And a feller's blood's jes’ friz! Seed the row from A to Izzard — ‘ Cause I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em

As me and you is! Tell you the way it wuz — And I do n't want to see, Like some fellers does,

When they's goern to be Any kind o’ fuss — On'y makes a rumpus wuss Fer to interfere

When theyr dander's riz — Might as lif to cheer! But I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em As me and you is!

I wuz kindo’ strayin’ Past the blame saloon — Heerd some fiddler playin’ That old “Hee-cup tune!”

I'd stopped-like, you know, Fer a minit er so, And wuz jest about Settin’ down, when — Jeemses-whizz!—

Whole durn winder-sash fell out! And thare laid Dock McGreff, and Mike A-straddlin’ him, all bloody-like, And both a-gittin’ down to biz!—

And I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em As me and you is! I wuz the on'y man aroun’ — ( Durn old-fogey town!

‘ Peared more like, to me, Sund'y than Saturd'y! ) Dog come‘ crost the road And tuk a smell

And putt right back: Mishler driv by‘ ith a load O’ cantalo'pes he could n't sell — Too mad,‘ i jack!

To even ast What wuz up, as he went past! Weather most outrageous hot!— Fairly hear it sizz

Roun’ Dock and Mike — tel Dock he shot,— And Mike he slacked that grip o’ his And fell, all spraddled out. Dock riz ‘ Bout half up, a spittin’ red,

And shuck his head.... And I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em As me and you is! And Dock he says,

A-whisperin’ - like,— “It hai n't no use A-tryin’!— Mike He's jest ripped my daylights loose!—

Git that blame-don fiddler to Let up, and come out here — You Got some burryin’ to do,— Mike makes one, and, I expects,

‘ Bout ten seconds, I'll make two!” And he drapped back, whare he'd riz, ‘ Crost Mike's body, black and blue, Like a great big letter X!—

And I wuz a-standin’ as clos't to‘ em As me and you is!

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THE WAY IT WUZ · James Whitcomb Riley · Poetry Cove