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1849–1916

MY JOLLY FRIEND'S SECRET

James Whitcomb Riley

Ah, friend of mine, how goes it Since you've taken you a mate?— Your smile, though, plainly shows it Is a very happy state!

Dan Cupid's necromancy! You must sit you down and dine, And lubricate your fancy With a glass or two of wine.

And as you have “deserted,” As my other chums have done, While I laugh alone diverted, As you drop off one by one — -

And I've remained unwedded, Till — you see — look here — that I'm, In a manner, “snatched bald-headed” By the sportive hand of Time!

I'm an “old‘ un!” yes, but wrinkles Are not so plenty, quite, As to cover up the twinkles Of the boy — ai n't I right?

Yet there are ghosts of kisses Under this mustache of mine My mem'ry only misses When I drown‘ em out with wine.

From acknowledgment so ample, You would hardly take me for What I am — a perfect sample Of a “jolly bachelor”;

Not a bachelor has being When he laughs at married life But his heart and soul's agreeing That he ought to have a wife!

Ah, ha! old chum, this claret, Like Fatima, holds the key Of the old Blue-Beardish garret Of my hidden mystery!

Did you say you'd like to listen? Ah, my boy! the “Sad No More!” And the tear-drops that will glisten — Turn the catch upon the door,

And sit you down beside me And put yourself at ease — I'll trouble you to slide me That wine decanter, please;

The path is kind o’ mazy Where my fancies have to go, And my heart gets sort o’ lazy On the journey — do n't you know?

Let me see — when I was twenty — It's a lordly age, my boy, When a fellow's money's plenty, And the leisure to enjoy —

And a girl — with hair as golden As — that; and lips — well — quite As red as this I'm holdin’ Between you and the light?

And eyes and a complexion — Ah, heavens!— le’ - me-see — Well,— just in this connection,— Did you lock that door for me?

Did I start in recitation My past life to recall? Well, that's an indication I am purty tight — that's all!

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