They took away your drink from you,
The kind old humanizing glass;
Soon they will take tobacco too,
And next they'll take our demi-tasse.
Do n't say, “The bill will never pass,”
Nor this my warning word disdain;
You said it once, you silly ass —
Do n't make the same mistake again.
We know them now, the bloodless crew,
We know them all too well, alas!
There's nothing that they would n't do
To make the world a Bible class;
Though against bottled beer or Bass
I search the sacred text in vain
To find a whisper — by the Mass!
Do n't make the same mistake again.
Beware these legislators blue,
Pouring their moral poison-gas
On all the joys our fathers knew;
The very flowers in the grass
Are safe no more, and, lad and lass,
‘ Ware the old birch-rod and the cane!
Here comes our modern Hudibras!—
Do n't make the same mistake again.
Prince, vanished is the rail of brass,
So mark me well and my refrain —
Tobacco next! you silly ass,
Do n't make the same mistake again.