When William Penn appeared before King Charles To get the charter of his Promised Land In Pennsylvaniá, ’ Twas in his usual free-and-easy style,
With hands in pockets and his hat on side — Singing Lard-dardy day! Let us drink and be merry, laugh, sing, and rejoice, With claret and sherry, theorbo and voice,
Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay! King Charles at once removed his feathered tile. “Keep on your hat, young man!” said William Penn, “It is our Quaker way;
And people will not know that you are bald; Be quite at home to make your guests at home — Singing Lard-dardy day! This changeable world to our joys is unjust,
All treasure’ s uncertain, so down with your dust, Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!” “It is the custom here,” the King replied, “For only one to cover at a time;
This is the courtly way.” “Then you should have more covers,” warbled Penn. “Warm people’ s heads to make them merry men — Singing Lard-dardy day!
And in frolics dispose of your shillings and pence, Since we all shall be past it a hundred years hence, Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay! “’ Tis a queer world, and faith! I do not lay
My hat around, loose, in a domicile Where I don’ t know the way, Unless some party gives a check for it; I’ ve travelled some — I have — and can’ t be bit —
Singing Lard-dardy day! Since, despite your invention, and learning, and sense, You’ ll be non est inventus a hundred years hence, Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!”
“Odds-fish!” exclaimed his Royal Majesty, “He talks full well, but as it seems to me, According to our way, There’ s a tremendous pig in this same Penn.”
“Bravo, young man!” said William; “try again — Singing Lard-dardy day! You have brought me a terrible one on the nob, But I bear you no malice, not being a snob,
Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!” And thus it is that history is writ, And thus it is good men are slandered sore From ever till to-day.
Some writer pastes a joke; it may remain Safe in a corner from Time’ s wind and rain Till Time has rolled away. So, hurrah for King Charles! and hurrah, too, for Penn!
And all such and similar excellent men! Merry-ton-ton-ton ta-lay!
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