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1885–1933

THE GROCERY MAN AND THE BEAR

Ring Lardner

He was weary of all of his usual joys; His books and his blocks made him tired, And so did his games and mechanical toys, And the songs he had always admired;

So I told him a story, a story so new It had never been heard anywhere; A tale disconnected, unlikely, untrue, Called The Grocery Man and the Bear.

I did n't think much of the story despite The fact‘ twas a child of my brain. And I never dreamt, when I told it that night, That I'd have to tell it again;

I never imagined‘ twould make such a hit With the audience of one that was there That for hours at a time he would quietly sit Through The Grocery Man and the Bear.

To all other stories, this one is preferred; It's the season's best seller by far, And out at our house it's as frequently heard As cuss-words in Mexico are.

When choo-choos and horses and picture books fail, He'll remain, quite content, in his chair, While I tell o'er and o'er the incredible tale Of The Grocery Man and the Bear.

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THE GROCERY MAN AND THE BEAR · Ring Lardner · Poetry Cove