Let others praise analysis
And revel in a “cultured” style,
And follow the subjective Miss
From Boston to the banks of Nile,
Rejoice in anti-British bile,
And weep for fickle hero's woe,
These twain have shortened many a mile,
Miss Braddon and Gaboriau.
These damsels of “Democracy's,”
How long they stop at every stile!
They smile, and we are told, I wis,
Ten subtle reasons WHY they smile.
Give ME your villains deeply vile,
Give me Lecoq, Jottrat, and Co.,
Great artists of the ruse and wile,
Miss Braddon and Gaboriau!
Oh, novel readers, tell me this,
Can prose that's polished by the file,
Like great Boisgobey's mysteries,
Wet days and weary ways beguile,
And man to living reconcile,
Like these whose every trick we know?
The agony how high they pile,
Miss Braddon and Gaboriau!
Ah, friend, how many and many a while
They've made the slow time fleetly flow,
And solaced pain and charmed exile,
Miss Braddon and Gaboriau.