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1877–1927

THE LAW OF AVERAGES

William Frederick Kirk

The Winter League is here again, and in his native town The hero of a thousand games has quietly settled down. Spike Mulligan, the shortstop brave, who led the league in hitting, And drew one thousand bones a month for tending to his knitting,

Is working in the corner store, slaving to beat the band, And drawing fifteen seeds a month for selling sugared sand. O'Halloran, the pitcher, who was certainly a hummer, And got a prince's ransom for the work he did last Summer,

Is keeping books this Winter for a shop that deals in buckets, And getting for the same each month as much as twenty ducats. McGonnigal, the fielder fleet, who hit like mad all season, And got a monthly envelope that seemed beyond all reason,

Is driving team in Grangerville, and adding to his hoard By drawing down a salary of five a week and board. McGinn, the famous backstop, who could throw so well to bases, And who received last season fifty-seven hundred aces,

Is throwing cordwood on a sled, far from the rooters’ gaze, And getting eighteen dollars cash for every thirty days. The Winter League is here again, and in his native town The hero of a thousand games has quietly settled down.

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THE LAW OF AVERAGES · William Frederick Kirk · Poetry Cove