‘ Go! Sound the fire alarm!’ she cried.
‘ My house is all ablaze inside!
‘ The flames are spreading far and wide;
‘ The air with smoke is laden!
‘ My darling's in an upper room!
‘ Oh, save him from a fiery tomb!’
Straight, as she spoke, through sparks and fume
Came brave Lieutenant Sladen.
Quoth he:‘ The horsed-escape is here, ma'am;
‘ We'll save your husband, never fear, ma'am!’
‘ My husband?’ she replied.‘ Nay, nay!
‘ Do n't waste your time on him, I pray,
‘ But turn your thoughts without delay
‘ To things that really matter.
‘ For though my weaker-half's asleep,
‘ A faithful lap-dog, too, I keep,
‘ And if I hold the former cheap,
‘ I idolise the latter.
‘ Gladly, to save the best of bow-wows,
‘ I'd sacrifice,’ she sobbed,‘ my spou-ouse!
‘ How prettily my nose he licks!
‘ ( I'm speaking of the dog ) and pricks
‘ His ears and barks, while as for tricks
‘ He never seems to tire, man!
‘ He'll balance sugar on his snout ——’
From burning windows came a shout;
Her husband suddenly leaned out
And thus addressed the fireman:
‘ You've seen the sort of wife I cherish;
‘ Then be humane and — let me perish!’