Who would be a Man of Letters,
Ink on paper daily dribbling,
In a fashion which his betters
Scornfully describe as‘ scribbling’?
Who would practise a vocation
So unlucrative and painful,
To deserve a designation
Cruelly disdainful?
Pity pen - or pencil-nibblers
Labelled as‘ distinguished scribblers’!
Sculptors are but seldom branded —
‘ Those illustrious plaster-shapers’;
Violinists’ friends, though candid,
Never call them‘ catgut-scrapers.’
Styling painters‘ canvas-scratchers’
Would offend against convention;
Surgeons as‘ appendix-snatchers’
Nobody would mention.
Who would term Lord Claud's directors
‘ Guinea-pigs’ or‘ fee collectors’?
Yet, although no politicians
We entitle‘ platform-stumpers,’
Nor refer to great musicians
As‘ immortal pedal-thumpers,’
Though we name no leading jurist:
‘ This notorious legal-quibbler,’
Ev'ry writer of the purest
Prose shall be a‘ scribbler,’
Till the Gribbles cease to gribble
And no more the Whibleys whibble!