At dawn, beneath my casement,
Scrubbing the area stairs,
The boot-boy in the basement
Is whistling rag-time airs.
At breakfast, while I'm eating,
A German band outside
With unction keeps repeating
The latest‘ Wedding Glide.’
Where'er I go, whate'er I do,
I can n't escape from‘ Hitchykoo’!
Pursued, as by a pixy,
By each infectious air,
I‘ Want to be in Dixie’
When ev'rybody' s there!
Though‘ Honolulu-looing’
I've done my best to shun,
What‘ Ev'rybody' s Doing’
I cannot leave undone!
The subtle spell I can n't withstand
Of‘ Alexander's Rag-Time Band’!
Like ancient hosts of Midian,
I kneel, enslaved and tame,
Before a modern Gideon,
And Melville is his name!
He grips me without pity,
He binds me with a thong
Of contrapuntal ditty,
Of syncopated song!
And in his sweet, seductive strains
I hear the rattle of my chains!
So, when you next behold me
Perform a Turkey-trot,
In fashion which ( they've told me )
Makes chaperones feel hot;
Or with a strict adherence
To rules of Bunny-hug,
Combine the ape's appearance
With manners of the Thug,
I beg you wo n't find fault with me,
But lay the blame on Melville G.!