There are many more Maxims to which I would like to accord a front place, But alas! I have got To omit a whole lot,
For the lack of available space; And the rest I am forced to boil down and condense To the following Essence of Sound without Sense: Now the Pitcher that journeys too oft
To the Well will get broken at last. But you'll find it a fact That, by using some tact, Such a danger as this can be past.
( There's an obvious way, and a simple, you'll own, Which is, if you're a Pitcher, to Let Well alone. ) Half a loafer is never well-bred, And Self-Praise is a Dangerous Thing.
And the mice are at play When the Cat is away, For a moment, inspecting a King. ( Tho’ if Care kills a Cat, as the Proverbs declare,
It is right to suppose that the King will take care. ) Do n't Halloo till you're out of the Wood, When a Stitch in Good Time will save Nine, While a Bird in the Hand
Is worth Two, understand, In the Bush that Needs no Good Wine. ( Tho’ the two, if they Can sing but Wo n't, have been known, By an accurate aim to be killed with one Stone. )
Never Harness the Cart to the Horse; Since the latter should be a la carte. Also, Birds of a Feather Come Flocking Together,
— Because they can n't well Flock Apart. ( You may cast any Bread on the Waters, I think, But, unless I'm mistaken, you can n't make it Sink. ) It is only the Fool who remarks
That there Ca n't be a Fire without Smoke; Has he never yet learned How the gas can be turned On the best incombustible coke?
( Would you value a man by the checks on his suits, And forget‘ que c'est le premier passbook qui Coutts?’ ) Now‘ De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum,’ Is Latin, as ev'ry one owns;
If your domicile be Near a Mortuaree, You should always avoid throwing bones. ( I would further remark, if I could,— but I could n't —
That People Residing in Glasshouses should n't. ) You have heard of the Punctual Bird, Who was First in presenting his Bill; But I pray you'll be firm,
And remember the Worm Had to get up much earlier still; ( So that, if you can n't rise in the morning, then Do n't; And be certain that Where there's a Will there's a Wo n't. )
You can give a bad name to a Dog, And hang him by way of excuse; Whereas Hunger, of course; Is by far the Best Sauce
For the Gander as well as the Goose. ( But you should n't judge any one just by his looks, For a Surfeit of Broth ruins too many Cooks. ) With the fact that Necessity knows
Nine Points of the Law, you'll agree. There are just as Good Fish To be found on a Dish As you ever could catch in the Sea.
( You should Look ere you Leap on a Weasel Asleep, And I've also remarked that Still Daughters Run Cheap. ) The much trodden-on Lane will Turn, And a Friend is in Need of a Friend;
But the Wisest of Saws, Like the Camel's Last Straws, Or the Longest of Worms, have an end. So, before out of Patience a Virtue you make,
A decisive farewell of these maxims we'll take.
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