BILL

At Modder, where I met‘ im fust, I thought as‘ ow ole Bill was dead; A splinter, from a shell wot bust, ‘ Ad fetched‘ im somewheres in the‘ ead;

But there! It takes a deal to kill Them thick-thatched sort o’ blokes like Bill. In the field -‘ orspital, nex’ day, The doctors was a-makin’ out

The‘ casualty returns,’ an’ they Comes up an’ pulls ole Bill about; Ole Colonel Wilks,‘ e turns to me, ‘ Report this “dangerous,"’ sez‘ e.

But Bill,‘ oo must‘ ave‘ eard it too, ‘ E calls the doctor, quick as thought: ‘ I'd take it kindly, sir, if you ‘ Could keep me out o’ the report.

‘ For tho’ I'm‘ it, an’‘ it severe, ‘ I does n't want my friends to‘ ear. ‘ I've a ole mother,‘ way in Kent, ‘'Oo thinks the very world o’ me;

‘ I'd thank you if I was n't sent ‘ As “wounded dangerous,"’ sez‘ e; ‘ For if she‘ ears I'm badly hit, ‘ I lay she wo n't get over it.

‘ At Landman's Drift she lost a lad ‘ ( With the th‘ Ussars‘ e fell ), ‘ Poor soul, she'd take it mighty bad ‘ To think o’ losin’ me as well;

‘ So please, sir, if it's hall the same, ‘ I'd ask you not to send my name.’ The Colonel bloke‘ e thinks a bit, ‘ Oh, well,’ sez‘ e,‘ per'aps you're right.

‘ And, now I come to look at it, ‘ I'll send you in as “scalp-wound, slight.” ‘ O’ course it's wrong of me, but still —’ ‘ Gawd bless you, sir, an’ thanks!’ sez Bill.

‘ E did n't die;‘ e scrambled through. They hoperated on‘ is‘ ead, An’ Gawd knows wot they did n't do,— ‘ Tripoded’‘ im, I think they said.

I see'd‘ im, Toosday, in Pall Mall, Nor never knowed‘ im look so well. Yes, Bill‘ e's going strong just now, In London, an’ employed again;

Tho’ it's a fact,‘ e sez, as‘ ow The doctors took out‘ alf‘ is brain! Ho well,‘ e wo n't‘ ave need o’ this — ‘ E's working at the War Office.