Essence of boredom! stupefying Theme! Whereon with eloquence less deep than full, Still maundering on in slow continuous stream, All can expatiate, and all be dull:
Bane of the mind and topic of debate That drugs the reader to a restless doze, Thou that with soul-annihilating weight Crushest the Bard, and hypnotisest those
Who plod the placid path of plain pedestrian Prose: Lo! when each morn I carefully peruse ( Seeking some subject for my painful pen ) The Times, the Standard, and the Daily News,
No other topic floats into my ken Save this alone: or Dr. Clifford slates Dogmas in general: or the dreadful ban Of furious Bishops excommunicates
Such simple creeds as Birrell, hopeful man! Thinks may perhaps appease th’ unwilling Anglican. Lo! at Society’ s convivial board ( Whereat I do occasionally sit,
In hope to bear within my memory stored Some echo thence of someone else’ s wit ), Or e’ er the soup hath yielded to the fish, A heavy dulness doth the banquet freeze:
Lucullus’ self would shun th’ untasted dish When lovely woman whispers, “Tell me, please, What are Denominational Facilities?” From scenes like these my Muse would fain withdraw:
To Taff’ s still Valley be my footsteps led, Where happy Unions’ neath the shield of Law Heave bricks bisected at the Blackleg’ s head: In those calm shades my desultory oat
Of Taxed Land Values shall contented trill, Of Man ennobled by a Single Vote,— In short, I’ ll sing of anything you will, Except of thee alone, O Education Bill!
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