Two youths there were in days of yore
Called Jones and Robinson.
Jones had abilities galore,
While Robinson had none.
They met with corresponding fates:
And Jones, that genius proud,
Obtained in time a First in Greats:
While Robinson was ploughed.
Jones hoped that mental gifts like his
Might gain a Fellowship:
But ah! full many a slip there is
Between the cup and lip:
“You have a brain,” the College said,
“Which unassisted soars:
’ Tis not for Colleges to aid
Abilities like yours!
Go — wealth awaits your gathering hand,
And empires crave your rule!
But Fellowships like ours are planned
To help the helpless fool.”
He tried the Press: he tried the Bar:
But still the Bar and Press
Said, “Not for him our openings are
Whose gifts ensure success:
Such posts are meant (’ tis justice plain )
For those unhappy chaps
( Like Robinson ) whom lack of brain
Unfairly handicaps!”
And now — yet check the rising tear:
It seems that long ago
Those Founders whom we all revere
Meant it to happen so —
Some lack of necessary food,
All in a garret lone,
Has ended Jones. I thought it would.
But Robinson’ s a DON.