Dear Cosmopolitan,— I know I should address you a Rondeau, Or else announce what I've to say At least en Ballade fratrisée;
But No: for once I leave Gymnasticks, And take to simple Hudibrasticks; Why should I choose another Way, When this was good enough for GAY?
You love, my FRIEND, with me, I think, That Age of Lustre and of Link; Of Chelsea China and long “s " es, Of Bag-wigs and of flowered Dresses;
That Age of Folly and of Cards, Of Hackney Chairs and Hackney Bards; — No H — LTS, no K — G — N P — LS were then Dispensing Competence to Men;
The gentle Trade was left to Churls, Your frowsy TONSONS and your CURLLS; Mere Wolves in Ambush to attack The AUTHOR in a Sheep-skin Back;
Then SAVAGE and his Brother-Sinners In Porridge-Island div'd for Dinners; Or doz'd on Covent Garden Bulks, And liken'd Letters to the Hulks;—
You know that by-gone Time, I say, That aimless easy-moral'd Day, When rosy Morn found MADAM still Wrangling at Ombre or Quadrille,
When good Sir JOHN reel'd Home to Bed, From Pontack's or the Shakespear's Head; When TRIP convey'd his Master's Cloaths, And took his Titles and his Oaths;
While BETTY, in a cast Brocade, Ogled MY LORD at Masquerade; When GARRICK play'd the guilty Richard, Or mouth'd Macbeth with Mrs. PRITCHARD;
When FOOTE grimac'd his snarling Wit; When CHURCHILL bullied in the Pit; When the CUZZONI sang — But there!
The further Catalogue I spare, Having no Purpose to eclipse That tedious Tale of HOMER'S Ships;— This is the MAN that drew it all
From Pannier Alley to the Mall, Then turn'd and drew it once again From Bird-Cage Walk to Lewknor's Lane;— Its Rakes and Fools, its Rogues and Sots;
Its brawling Quacks, its starveling Scots; Its Ups and Downs, its Rags and Garters, Its HENLEYS, LOVATS, MALCOLMS, CHARTRES; Its Splendour, Squalor, Shame, Disease;
Its quicquid agunt Homines;— Nor yet omitted to pourtray Furens quid possit Foemina;— In short, held up to ev'ry Class
NATURE'S unflatt'ring looking-Glass; And, from his Canvass, spoke to All The Message of a JUVENAL. Take Him. His Merits most aver:
His weak Point is — his Chronicler!
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