Sikes, housebreaker, of Houndsditch, Habitually swore; But so surpassingly profane He never was before,
As on a night in winter, When — softly as he stole In the dim light from stair to stair, Noiseless as boys who in her lair
Seek to surprise a fat old hare - He barked his shinbone, unaware Encountering MY WHOLE. As pours the Anio plainward,
When rains have swollen the dykes, So, with such noise, poured down MY FIRST, Stirred by the shins of Sikes. The Butler Bibulus heard it;
And straightway ceased to snore, And sat up, like an egg on end, While men might count a score: Then spake he to Tigerius,
A Buttons bold was he: “Buttons, I think there's thieves about; Just strike a light and tumble out; If you can n't find one, go without,
And see what you may see.” But now was all the household, Almost, upon its legs, Each treading carefully about
As if they trod on eggs. With robe far-streaming issued Paterfamilias forth; And close behind him,— stout and true
And tender as the North, - Came Mrs. P., supporting On her broad arm her fourth. Betsy the nurse, who never
From largest beetle ran, And — conscious p'raps of pleasing caps - The housemaids, formed the van: And Bibulus the Butler,
His calm brows slightly arched; ( No mortal wight had ere that night Seen him with shirt unstarched;) And Bob, the shockhaired knifeboy,
Wielding two Sheffield blades, And James Plush of the sinewy legs, The love of lady's maids: And charwoman and chaplain
Stood mingled in a mass, And “Things,” thought he of Houndsditch, “Is come to a pretty pass.” Beyond all things a Baby
Is to the schoolgirl dear; Next to herself the nursemaid loves Her dashing grenadier; Only with life the sailor
Parts from the British flag; While one hope lingers, the cracksman's fingers Drop not his hard-earned‘ swag.’ But, as hares do MY SECOND
Thro’ green Calabria's copses, As females vanish at the sight Of short-horns and of wopses; So, dropping forks and teaspoons,
The pride of Houndsditch fled, Dumbfoundered by the hue and cry He'd raised up overhead. They gave him — did the Judges -
As much as was his due. And, Saxon, should'st thou e'er be led To deem this tale untrue; Then — any night in winter,
When the cold north wind blows, And bairns are told to keep out cold By tallowing the nose: When round the fire the elders
Are gathered in a bunch, And the girls are doing crochet, And the boys are reading Punch: - Go thou and look in Leech's book;
There haply shalt thou spy A stout man on a staircase stand, With aspect anything but bland, And rub his right shin with his hand,
To witness if I lie.
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