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1842–1914

BY FALSE PRETENSES

Ambrose Bierce

John S. Hittell, whose sovereign genius wields The quill his tributary body yields; The author of an opera — that is, All but the music and libretto's his:

A work renowned, whose formidable name, Linked with his own, repels the assault of fame From the high vantage of a dusty shelf, Secure from all the world except himself;—

Who told the tale of “Culture” in a screed That all might understand if some would read;— Master of poesy and lord of prose, Dowered, like a setter, with a double nose;

That one for Erato, for Clio this; He flushes both — not his fault if we miss;— Judge of the painter's art, who'll straight proclaim The hue of any color you can name,

And knows a painting with a canvas back Distinguished from a duck by the duck's quack;— This thinker and philosopher, whose work Is famous from Commercial street to Turk,

Has got a fortune now, his talent's meed. A woman left it him who could not read, And so went down to death's eternal night Sweetly unconscious that the wretch could write.

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BY FALSE PRETENSES · Ambrose Bierce · Poetry Cove