There was a cranky Governor —
His name it was n't Waterman.
For office he was hotter than
The love of any lover, nor
Was Boruck's threat of aiding him
Effective in dissuading him —
This pig-headed, big-headed, singularly self-conceited Governor Nonwaterman.
To citrus fairs, et cætera,
He went about philandering,
To pride of parish pandering.
He knew not any better — ah,
His early education had
Not taught the abnegation fad —
The wool-witted, bull-witted, fabulously feeble-minded king of gabble-gandering!
He conjured up, ad libitum,
With postures energetical,
One day ( this is prophetical )
His graces, to exhibit‘ em.
He straddled in each attitude,
Four parallels of latitude —
The slab-footed, crab-footed, galloping gregarian, of presence unæsthetical!
An ancient cow, perceiving that
His powers of agility
Transcended her ability
( A circumstance for grieving at )
Upon her horns engrafted him
And to the welkin wafted him —
The high-rolling, sky-rolling, hurtling hallelujah-lad of peerless volatility!