You promised to paint me a picture, Dear Mat, And I was to pay you in rhyme. Although I am loth to inflict your
Most easy of consciences, I'm Of opinion that fibbing is awful, And breaking a contract unlawful, Indictable, too, as a crime,
A slight and all that. If, Lady Unbountiful, any Of that By mortals called pity has part
In your obdurate soul — if a penny You care for the health of my heart, By performing your undertaking You'll succor that organ from breaking —
And spare it for some new smart, As puss does a rat. Do you think it is very becoming, Dear Mat,
To deny me my rights evermore And — bless you! if I begin summing Your sins they will make a long score! You never were generous, madam,
If you had been Eve and I Adam You'd have given me naught but the core, And little of that. Had I been content with a Titian,
A cat By Landseer, a meadow by Claude, No doubt I'd have had your permission To take it — by purchase abroad.
But why should I sail o'er the ocean For Landseers and Claudes? I've a notion All's bad that the critics belaud. I wanted a Mat.
Presumption's a sin, and I suffer For that: But still you did say that sometime, If I'd pay you enough ( here's enougher —
That's more than enough ) of rhyme You'd paint me a picture. I pay you Hereby in advance; and I pray you Condone, while you can, your crime,
And send me a Mat. But if you do n't do it I warn you, Dear Mat, I'll raise such a clamor and cry
On Parnassus the Muses will scorn you As mocker of poets and fly With bitter complaints to Apollo: “Her spirit is proud, her heart hollow,
Her beauty” — they'll hardly deny, On second thought, that!
Cookies on Poetry Cove